“Just the facts, Ma’am ….” Well … I am a widow … weird! (Well, maybe a weird widow? – Don’t answer that one! ☺) I live on 80 acres in the sagebrush steppes of Eastern Oregon. My immediate family has either departed or scattered. My 2 daughters live independent and busy lives at opposite diagonal reaches in the state of Oregon. My neighbors are all landed people, either retired or busy making a living on the land. … and, obviously, ALL of us are even more separated from each other by the “social distancing” this pandemic has imposed upon the whole planet.
So, the land …. I ask myself why do I choose to stay here as I cope with the physical decline that aging brings and without the support, humor, and abilities of my lifelong partner? Sometimes, I miss the frequent doses of social interaction that living in town can present. My weekly trips to Baker City before Covid were stimulating fixes of interesting and nice people and, sometimes, good jokes. Though exhausted by evening, I felt happy and so good to be home. Now I feel wiped out and so good to be home! At times, I get fleeting thoughts that I could be somewhere else, doing something else. I can imagine so many alluring detours and doors that are imminently possible! But, yet, for the present, I am content to stay.
Why? 
Pam Houston, author of Deep Creek, addresses this question so beautifully. She quotes John LaFont from The Homesteaders of the Upper Rio Grande, first edition 1971:
“… land is fascinating and more or less magnetic and always had a value and probably always will. It is a feeling of stability and security to own a piece of land. You always feel like you have a home, no matter how humble.”
Yes, … and I am so grateful ….
Vicki, I have always felt that you have a sense of kinship to the land, perhaps that you belong to it. Is that how you see yourself?
ReplyDeleteWow, Carolyn! That’s a challenging question! As usual, I’m having trouble with semantics. I really have only ever related the word “kinship” to social relationships and I usually don’t relate the word “social” to anything but the family of man and all his “societal” structures, e.g. religion, government, etc. I can only comment that I have always been deeply moved by nature, either to reverence or to sadness. And this even long before being a landowner.
DeleteForgot to ask, what are your ideas on kinship?
ReplyDeletePerhaps that's not the word. What I am talking about is how Paul's and my grandfathe r, Harry,seemed to belong to the ranch much like the Native Americans, not owning but belonging to
ReplyDeleteI think it is an excellent word. Wikipedia seems to have a narrow definition, heavily weighted to mankind. But I really think Kimmerer and Indigenous Peoples would have a definite opinion on the meaning of the word; one rich with the meaning you have given it.
DeleteHaving been raised in a nomad style of life, I don't know if I "belong" to this land but I feel that, through fate and fortune this land is giving me a "home" on the Earth.
Forty years is the lifetime of many. As attached as I have felt to that place to which Paul and my t-great grandfather brought the family, you have spent more of your life years putting down your roots deeply than I was able to.
DeleteBut ... as demonstrated in our profile, your early years have contributed so much to who you now are. Knowing you, I believe that your roots remain deep in the family "place." ... and always will.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate your reference to "kinship." In my 4th Land Gifts blog, I offer a quote (Archie Fire Lamedeer)which struck me,as you had encouraged me to reflect on this word. I plan to address shortly in #5. I want to expand my concept of this important idea ....
A grief counselor I talked with told me they thought I had two griefs which will accompany me throughout life. As time passes they will shift and change but they will accompany me. One is losing Don after our sixty years together and the other is when I was I came to see that I was no longer welcome to go to that place where before I'd always been welcome as coming home for a visit. A separation which feels similar to the Original People when they were forced from their homes. Since our talk as time is passing, I've found those words valid.
Deleteooops - #3 Land Gifts!
ReplyDelete