All of Life is a Ceremony - (cw - #1 in series)

 

I keep thinking about the idea of “reinventing cultural legacies ” for it’s a term which so clearly describes how I feel while looking at what I hope to be a part of in this phase of my life, living the adventure of being a single woman for the first time. I feel that it is part of what Vicki and I are trying to do, each in our own way. And, not looking only at our aging but all of the interests and concerns we talk about. Living more lightly on Mother Earth; and the challenges of communicating in positive ways our ideas, concerns, hope and vision. She and I speak frequently of being part of starting ripples on a pond.

 Because of the wonderful, joy-filled wedding celebration I was part of last weekend I’d like to share, in two or more blogs, my thought about all I’ve learned about the importance of ceremony in our lives. My thinking about it began in 1988 as:

 “All of life is ceremony!” a wise man from the Sioux Nation said to the crowd as we sat on green summer grass in brilliant Alaska sunshine, a few fluffy clouds floating in the deepest blue toward the mountain’s snow-bright peaks as a wisp of steam rose from the volcano.  He continued, “This ceremony didn’t start with the opening words we prayed a few minutes ago. This ceremony started in your home when you decided and began preparations to come. It continued during your travel by plane and car.

 His words were the beginning of my learning to live with intention and attention, to be aware, to live consciously. With his words the memory of what I only later came to recognize as my first ceremony came flooding back:

 I was so very glad to hold on tight to Grandpa’s large calloused hand as we climbed the steps. At three I felt safe in the shadow of his tall form. Early that morning my family had left San Francisco for the drive to Two Rock for my brother and I were going to be baptized that day. Stepping into the old Two Rock church, filled with its Easter crowd of people Grandpa looked down at me, his deep voice telling me, “Kisspatch, everyone here is your relative.” The feeling his words caused has stayed with me all my life. There have been many times that I have deeply doubted that I belonged ~ anywhere ~ but that memory ~ of his voice, his words, has been an undercurrent, warming and reassuring me. “Kisspatch, everyone here is your relative.”

 That was my first ceremony ~ a ceremony which has helped to keep me whole.

I later came to see how his words opened me to learning that everyone, everywhere is my relative ~ all of earth’s creation!

On Defensiveness ... It Seems to Me .... (vw)

200723 Thursday 

Response to Carol’s Question per phone text 200722

 Carol sent me a stimulating email this week that I am reflecting on and will try to comment.

“… a conversation – how both of us wanting good relations/communication, both reacted defensively to what the other meant as comment. What does it say about how people in a less committed relationship respond at any time – Whether written OR verbal?” (Carol Winters)

 

 ... “how both of us wanting good relations/communication, both reacted defensively to what the other meant as comment”

It seems to me on considering defensiveness in ourselves – well, we’re just human. The whole species was designed this way, whether by “god” or by evolution of the species, or both. The whole history of mankind on this planet is penetrated by defensiveness; defense of our families, our culture, our spiritual beliefs, our actions, and, yes, even our race. Somehow our very differences, instead of generating interest and enjoyment, seem to engender divisiveness. Is the cause narrow-mindedness, or greed, egotism, prejudice …? {Note that the subject here is limited, only, to defensiveness; the others mentioned are actually subjects in themselves.} But what seems to be the main catalyst that promulgates this trait? Each of us definitely has a very personal and strong answer to the question.

 “What does it say about how people in a less committed relationship respond at any time”

 Well … we humans have responded to our differences with a variety of defensive negative ways, e.g. argument, fighting, wars, hatred, prejudice, racism, passive-aggressive reaction and demeaning disregard. Now days so called “think tanks” are no different, having produced very little in the way of promoting cohesion and compassion, (unity)? I don’t think anyone has a viable answer for a way out of this existing divisiveness except to do what Carol and I are struggling to accomplish: i.e., to value the Other as Companion in this Earthwalk, “all … created equal … and endowed …” with a marvelous diversity that should be respected. This perspective appreciates mankind as one family and individual perspective as having great value and, generally, contributing to the collective wisdom. I think Carol and I are on the right track in our small way but the goal of complete unity and understanding can never be achieved; we can only strive to enjoy diversity in the stimulation of respectful conversation, the excitement and knowledge found in the process, the inevitable increase of companionship and respect, and the resulting personal freedom of acceptance and peace. What else is that but love?

 “Whether written OR verbal?”

I think both are so necessary! Written communication is wonderfully necessary for exploration of depth, rationalization, information, etc. It is so open to depth of thought! Verbal communication offers amazing facilitation for expressions of love, respect, compassion, teaching, etc. Texting? … is modern society’s way of quick communication of status quo. All are valuable. We just need to discern when each is indicated so as not to provoke that very human emotion of defensiveness.

Working the File - Labels (vw)

 I'm sure all of you have realized that we are stumbling our way through the techno-maze of hosting this blog. It has been a challenging first step on our sincere desire to embrace a virtual community of persons who are interested in our topics and whom we can learn from as we proceed into the "clouds" (pun intended!)

First item of business: our labels so far. You'll see that we have added "Blog Works" and very soon will add "Building Community". In addition, I am going to morph "Purpose" into "Living & Giving", just because I think the subject fits there better and won't be hampered by narrow sideboards.

So please hang in here with us and let us know if we get too messy with our housekeeping.

3 Books that Have Influenced My Life (cw)

     I've Decided to Live 120 Years

Vicki, I was so glad you recommended Ilchi Lee’s I’ve Decided to Live 120 Years! It’s a third culture I’ve come across which speaks of 120 years as the normal potential for human life. This is some background on my introduction to that thinking.

      Knowing at a deep level that it was a pilgrimage ~ in a letter written a year later I called it a “sacred journey ~ as you already know, I drove alone, in 1988, down the highway from Alaska in our little motor-home. My children had left home and I realized I’d never lived alone for I’d “gone from mother’s arms to husband’s arms” while my mother’s grieving Dad’s death caused me to realize I needed to find out how to be alone. 

      Could I do it?

Voices of Our Ancestors

    Sometime during that eight-day time of exploration, realizations, doubt and frustrations, joy, fear and testing, I also finished reading a book called Voices of Our Ancestors by a traditional Cherokee woman, Dhyani Ywaho, And, during that journey I consciously decided to seek congruity, the wisdom to become an adult that the Tsalagi (Cherokee) teach. Their teaching is our normal life span is 127 years. At about fifty, after a person has raised their children, one either consciously chooses to become an adult or we begin to die. I decided to choose "Sophia", wise, with the Creator's help, womanhood. I may never achieve wisdom, but it gave me a goal to reach for ~ becoming a wise old crone.

From Age-ing to Sage-ing

      Many years later I stumbled on a book written by a rabbi sharing the Hebrew belief of a complete life being 120 years (From Age-ing to Sage-ing by Zalman Schacter-Shalomi and Ronald S. Miller) The book is about the needed role in our society for wise, mentoring elders sharing their passions to help our societies become more balanced, respecting all of life and our beautiful earth.

        And now, Ilchi Lee’s practical words of advice from the eastern tradition is helping me to again look at how I wish to travel this part of my life, this period of completion.