Purpose (cw)

I, too, feel we’re off to a good start! Your latest post has me continuing to think about purpose and change ~ the title Maryanne Williamson gave one of her books, The Gift of Change.

 As I wonder about how to deal with an aging body and the idea of living with purpose I received a gift the other day in a phone visit with my sister by marriage. She shared she has an elderly friend who lives in the community where Francie grew up. At ninety-nine she still lives in her own home, using a walker and taking advantage of Meals on Wheels. Her purpose is writing and sending forty cards and letters a month to an extensive list of people, including Francie. Despite physical limitations she has purpose, one which brings her satisfaction and enjoyment in living. I want to be like that, living with all the changes in my life now, and as I grow older, living with joy and purpose.

 I remember my aunts Kay and Angie who both lived into their nineties, Kay, to almost ninety-six. She not only had purpose but had such a zest for life! She not only continued her painting but, after ninety, wrote and illustrated a children’s book. It is a treasure!

 So, as I deal with the challenge of gardening with my arthritic feet I remember the example those three women are for me ~ and I love what you said about why this time is a gift!!

Purpose (vw)

Carol, thanks for your concise and descriptive post; I think we’re off to a good start and I hope it gets easier to post as we move along. I hear two major themes when you speak about your life experiences as they relate to our blog and our journey together: defining our purpose and nurturing community. Both are lifetime challenges but today I’m drawn to the subject of purpose.

  I’ve met individuals that always seemed confident in their direction (purpose) and I envy their self-assurance. On reflection, it seems that purpose throughout my life originated basically from responsibility, i.e., from where I was at, specific to time, place, and company. Now I’ve lost this active stream of responsibility which carried me along through life’s give and take. Here I am at a crossroads of ageing and a general implosion of my life as I knew it.

 I am presented with a whole new scenario.

On one hand, I feel very alone, with a lack of self-confidence to degrees I never even imagined before. I understand now that I didn’t realize how much the support and assurance of family fortified me. Purpose? What could be the purpose for outliving my old life? What gifts do I have to offer? We’ve listed Ilchi Lee’s book, I’ve decided to live 120 Years among our favorites. If I’m planning to fill the rest of my days with purpose, that means I have 40 more years to work on it! Seems like a life time! What a different perspective this lends on those years looming ahead!

On the other hand, though defining my purpose seems a daunting task, I must admit that I am enjoying a sense of freedom that’s a new experience for me. I have more time for reflection on where my life is going, could go, and the significant changes I should be preparing to meet. And how exciting to think of the books I haven’t read, the thoughts I haven’t thought and planning for a new adventure. (You know I love to plan). Ironically, I have more time to invest more quality into fewer years ahead.  This time is a gift.

Beginnings cw

During this time of change and upheaval it seems timely, appropriate, for Vicki and I to decide to start sharing our journeys through creating a blog.

It feels important for me, to share the life experiences which shape me

I learned so much from my grandparents as I grew up, teaching me by sharing their stories. It was then I began to learn the importance of “Story” ~ especially those stories which teach us about who or what we are. Later, living in Alaska, learning from the elders of the original peoples as they shared with each other, I learned so much, by listening as they shared. 

Those elders knew they had purpose

They knew that they contributed to the life of the community, of those around them ~ no matter their increasing limitations. Those elders example taught me to always live with purpose, to find ways to contribute to the world around me.  Three years after Don’s death, as I look for those ways, I also think of Mother Teresa’s words who once said, “We can do no great things ~ only small things with great love.” 

While I was learning the importance of this role, my mother and mother-in-law were becoming increasingly despondent. As their bodies aged and they could no longer do many of the things they felt gave them worth, they saw themselves, their continued life, as useless. I tried to share with them their worth, the importance of the role they had but they couldn’t see it. The society they grew up in ~ today’s society ~ did not and does not recognize that role, that wisdom. It broke my heart! What a tragic waste of their gifts!

One of the lessons I also have learned is we all have gifts

~ we all have a purpose! To share them, no matter what our age, is why we are born. In moving from Alaska, I have become very aware how, as we age, we often live by ourselves, often without the base, the support of a larger community from which to draw strength and wisdom. I know I need community, a place of belonging to help me live richly and well, one where I continue to learn, to grow, to contribute, as I journey toward the adventures which lie ahead. 

Creating Community

Vicki and I have found strength in our sharing frequently with each other, thanks to the wonder of modern technology. We live 200 miles apart, she on an eighty-acre piece of the land she and her husband ranched, I in a small town near Boise. With our phones we have long and frequent conversations. Now, we hope to use this blog as a way to share and, hopefully, create community in this mobile world of ours. 

I hope you will join us!