200723 Thursday
Response
to Carol’s Question per phone text 200722
Carol sent me a stimulating email this week that I am reflecting
on and will try to comment.
“… a conversation – how both of us wanting good relations/communication, both
reacted defensively to what the other meant as comment. What does it say about how people in a less committed
relationship respond at any time – Whether written
OR verbal?” (Carol Winters)
... “how both of us wanting good relations/communication,
both reacted defensively to what the other meant as comment”
It seems
to me on considering defensiveness in ourselves – well, we’re just
human. The whole species was designed this way, whether by “god” or by
evolution of the species, or both. The whole history of mankind on this planet is
penetrated by defensiveness; defense of our families, our culture, our
spiritual beliefs, our actions, and, yes, even our race. Somehow our very
differences, instead of generating interest and enjoyment, seem to engender
divisiveness. Is the cause narrow-mindedness, or greed, egotism, prejudice …? {Note
that the subject here is limited, only, to defensiveness; the
others mentioned are actually subjects in themselves.} But what seems to be the
main catalyst that promulgates this trait? Each of us definitely has a very
personal and strong answer to the question.
“What does it say about how
people in a less committed relationship respond at any time”
Well … we humans have responded to our differences
with a variety of defensive negative ways, e.g. argument, fighting, wars,
hatred, prejudice, racism, passive-aggressive reaction and demeaning disregard.
Now days so called “think tanks” are no different, having produced very little
in the way of promoting cohesion and compassion, (unity)? I don’t think anyone
has a viable answer for a way out of this existing divisiveness except to do
what Carol and I are struggling to accomplish: i.e., to value the Other as
Companion in this Earthwalk, “all … created equal … and endowed …” with a marvelous
diversity that should be respected. This perspective appreciates mankind as one
family and individual perspective as having great value and, generally,
contributing to the collective wisdom. I think Carol and I are on the right
track in our small way but the goal of complete unity and understanding can
never be achieved; we can only strive to enjoy diversity in the stimulation of respectful
conversation, the excitement and knowledge found in the process, the inevitable
increase of companionship and respect, and the resulting personal freedom of
acceptance and peace. What else is that but love?
“Whether written OR verbal?”
I think
both are so necessary! Written communication is wonderfully necessary for
exploration of depth, rationalization, information, etc. It is so open to depth
of thought! Verbal communication offers amazing facilitation for expressions of
love, respect, compassion, teaching, etc. Texting? … is modern society’s way of
quick communication of status quo. All are valuable. We just need to discern
when each is indicated so as not to provoke that very human emotion of defensiveness.
